A Fortnite

I’m hiding in a bush on top of a dusty hill. I’m injured. All I have is a shitty pistol to defend myself with. My partner is gone or dead. I’m well outnumbered. My hands are shaking. My heart is beating fast. I’m sweating. A figure approaches me with a large gun. I can hear the sound of it firing. I unplug my desktop computer before I can see the death message.

Some unknown number of miles away in a country whose name I worry I pronounce wrong, an American soldier is going through a very similar ordeal.

The type of situation you might have found yourself when Jimmy Carter was president and my mom was ten years old. Maybe this could be good. Three years from now we’ll have a Reagan of the left? Sorry, you were saying Rogan? The guy who believes in aliens? 

Anyways, then, they’ll release this guy. I can only hope. 

Maybe, though, they’ll shoot him dead in a firefight. He’ll die for his country and go to Valhalla. He’s probably christian though, so, Hell? Because of the missiles and bombs he dropped or assisted in dropping on innocent civilians. Right? You go to Hell for killing children, right? Even if you were just following orders. Answer me honestly, do you go to Hell for killing children? I really want to know. You must, God please.

I’m not God, things would be a whole lot different if I was, wouldn’t they. So, maybe I’m wrong. That’s fine.

Anyways, I’m happy that this guy didn’t die. No need to pile another body onto the pyre.

But, if he had died, even if they’d drawn and quartered him, I couldn’t care, I couldn’t mourn. Because then, I’d have to mourn the hundred Iranian children killed by a U.S. missile.

Or should I say, killed by the entire apparatus surrounding the construction of that missile and the decision to fire it at that specific location. Those people are going to Hell too. I’ll have to remember to connect with Pete when I die. He always knows where to find a good party.

I could go on, but indifference is more chic.

Did you see want Kristi Noem’s husband was doing? Now that’s worth talking about. That’s a guy whose going to Heaven. Maybe he’ll reconnect with that puppy his wife shot dead.